[ Tots of the Gundam Prince ]

Loss

2009-10-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

i have lost you once,

then you came back to me in a different(slimmer) form.

Now, i lost you again.

This time, perhaps, for good.

But who knows...

maybe this signifies a new beginning...

HAHAHAHA

do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth!?

2009-10-05T10:24:00.000+08:00

Proof that the English language has seen better days...

was expecting a baggage yesterday....

description from its ah-tiong owner...

"Box"

so why do we even bother?

2009-10-03T21:49:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i just wonder, why do we even bother to go gym,

when after all that training,

we feast on the things featured below...

and, short of baking the bread, we even went through the effort of preparing every bit of the home-cooked supper ourselves..

why do we even bother to gym?

haizz..

Jetquay BBQ Menu

2009-08-30T20:59:00.000+08:00

BBQ Pineapples with cinnamon
BBQ Banana?
Caramelized Apples
Portobello Mushrooms with rosemary
HuaDiaoJiu Chicken Wings
Rosemary Garlic Prawns
Stuffed Onions/Peppers/Tomatoes link

Italian-style Grilled Corn on the cob link

4 ears fresh sweet corn, in husks
3 to 4 tablespoons olive oil or melted butter
1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper

Marinated Coriander & Lemon Chicken

8 tbs olive oil
2 tsp honey
Juice of 1 lemon
4 tsp Schwartz Chopped Coriander
Salt and pepper, to taste
4 chicken breasts, skinned

Honey Lamb Chops

2 tbs clear honey
3 tbs Worcestershire sauce
2 tbs soft brown sugar
2 tbs cornflour
Zest of 1 orange, plus 2 tbs juice
2 tbs Schwartz Lamb Seasoning Simply Shake Seasoning
8 lamb chops

Piri Piri Prawn Kebabs link

150 ml (1/4 pint) olive oil
1 tbs lemon juice
1 tbs Schwartz Piri Piri Chicken Grill & Sizzle Seasoning
450 g (1 lb) whole raw tiger prawns, shelled
4 pitta breads
Salad leaves, to serve

SAUCE

Thai dipping sauce

1/2 cup fresh lemon juice (about 2 lemons)
1/4 cup Thai fish sauce
1-2 tablespoon brown sugar
1-2 Thai chile or hot red chili pepper or serrano chili, seeded and thinly sliced
1 garlic clove, minced

Piri Piri Sauce

2 T. red hot chile paste or 10 red hot chiles, such as Thai
1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
2 T. finely chopped cilantro
1 T. chopped parsley
5 chopped garlic cloves
1/2 t. salt
1/2 cup olive or peanut oil

BUY
Parsley
Brown sugar
Worcestershire sauce

References

Grilled Brown Sugar Pork Chops here

Sesame Soy Skewered Steak link
Grilled fruits
http://www.bbq.co.uk/barbecue-cooking-advice/video-recipes/fruits-from-grill.html
BBQ video recipes
http://www.bbq.co.uk/bbq-recipes/video-recipes.html
Rosemary Lemon Chicken
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Marinated-Rosemary-Lemon-Chicken/Detail.aspx
Chipotle Citrus Marinated Chicken
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Chipotle-Citrus-Marinated-Chicken/Detail.aspx
Marinated Grilled Prawns
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Marinated-Grilled-Shrimp/Detail.aspx
BBQ recipes
http://www.bbq.co.uk/bbq-recipes/recipe-library.htm

http://www.jamieoliver.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=30704
http://www.dizzypigbbq.com/recipes.html

How about Plank Grilling?
http://allrecipes.com/HowTo/Plank-Grilling/Detail.aspx

Never Let Go - Bryan Adams (The Guardian)

2009-04-06T23:00:00.000+08:00

Argue all you want, just prove me wrong when I say I'm a personification of this song....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can you lay your life down, so a stranger can live?
Can you take what you need, but take less than you give?
Could you close every day, without the glory and fame?
Could you hold your head high, when no one knows your name?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say.

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, cause you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Can you lose everything, you ever had planned?
Can you sit down again, and play another hand?
Could you risk everything, for the chance of being alone?
Under pressure find the grace, or would you come undone?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say?

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, cause you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Never let go, Never let go, Never let go

Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, 'but you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.

Never let go, Never let go, Never let go

...

2009-04-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

I don't know what title to give this.
i mean, after feeling all these, you could still ask to leave...
or should i say, you could still leave, even when you felt like this?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feb'09
Bid gdbye to unhappy times, if any.
Switch off 2008 & turn on to 2009.
A brand new year again for a fresh beginning.
2008 was wonderful when u said
'I will be the last man.'
Its gonna be a better year ahead.

----------------------------------------------

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I've straighten my thoughts, my dear-BEN.
This is for u :)

There is no life within this garden;
my sobs are the only sound.
I have poisoned the honeyed fountain
where your love could be found.

Dazed, I stare at the stars above,
my grieving howls fill the night.
Unintended betrayal of love
has hidden you from my sight.

I remember how it used to be
when we shared our fears and delights.
You are a treasured person to me.
How can I make things right?

Feeling afraid, cold and lonely,
I long to tell you how I feel,
but i just cant bring it up to you.

The pain for you is much too real.
Should I back away and build a wall
and block away how I feel?

Or, should I give you a call?
We both need some time to heal.
An echo fades into the night
How do I know what is right?

How can I ease my fears?
I hope the old wounds wont reappear
I can’t stand to cause you pain.
Hurting you again is my worst fear.

Apology

How do I tell you I'm sorry

With a gesture, a look, a touch?
How is it I never realized
I hurt you so very much?

I do not ask forgiveness,
A comfort I'll never deserve.
I merely want to let you know,
But I cannot find the nerve.

When finally confront you, face-to-face,
To look you in the eye,
To face your wrath, your apathy
Too terrified to try.

You called me selfish, I turned away,
I festered and I fled;
Betraying and deceiving you,
I surely had no right
To snatch away such a precious gem;
A dark thief in the night.

When I present these simple words
I mean what I say.
The time has come,
it's long past due,
To put aside my fear;
Would this confession torture you,
Or have you longed to hear?

To hear those words,
To vanquish all the pain,
To understand my dearest wish:
To know you once again.

The years aged me remarkably,
Though they have not made me wise;
I do know I erred irrevocably
-For that I apologize.

So Much To Me

I don't want to see our relationship come to an end
And I don't want to find our lives standing still
We are moving towards the end
And we really ought to wait
Because God planted something special
Deep within our hearts

I know your life is hectic
You are busy all day through
My life is busy also
But I still think of you

I want to send my love
And remind you of these things
Just so you will know
You mean so much to me

----------------------------------------------

Sunday, November 09, 2008

An over due post entry.

In life, many unexpecting event occurs.
Be it happy, sad, anger or jealousy moments.
There is always a bunch of people surrouding us
who we call friends.

And among these friends
We have hi-&-bye friends
We have close friends
We have best friends
And of coz a special friend,
who will form part of your life.

Yes, i have that special friend :)
My boyfriend, the one and only.

Is he a good boyfriend?
HAh. Define a GOOD boyfriend please.

Despite throwing my temper

He will take the effect to make me feel better.

Despite the mistakes I've made

He will take the effect to correct me and explain it.

Despite the countless quarrels we had

He will take the effect to make it right.

For all that we'd went through
For all that he has done for me
I guess, perhaps
It's something that a girl would wish for.

But I'm sorry that I might seem

UNEMOTIONAL

SELFISH

INSENSITIVE
SECRETIVE

UNMINDFUL

SELF CENTERED

USELESS

FUCKED UP

I'm sorry that i make you feel
Insecure
Pissed
Disappointed
Unappreciated
Pek chek
Angry

And YES,
I'm tried of apologizing
Till the point, i've find it meaningless lately.
I'm tired of staying up late to solve the issues
It's not as if I could sleep well.
I'm sick of saying I DONT KNOW
Simple because my mind it blank
and i want to give a better answer.
I'm sick of being the cause of all problems
Neither do i want it.
I'm tired of theses.

I hate it when
I've been told what i've got to do to amend for it.
It makes me feels totally retard and fake.
I hate it when
You are being harsh at times
I feel pressurized and miserable.

I hate myself when

I'm hiding things from you

which i nv like AT ALL

and unintendedly.

You asked why is it that i could give up so easily on our relationship?

For now, i still cant answer u cause i haven think of a better answer to that.

I'll let u know one day.

Neither do i want to hurt u.

Not all things are that easy to be said.

Perhaps
I rely too much
on you.

Changing for the better.
I still need to get adpoted
to the way you handle things.

Mind you, I still love you for:
The way you handle matters.
How much you care for me.
And the effect you put in.

Ito Yuna - I trust you

2009-02-27T16:37:00.000+08:00

Flowers sway in the wind as if dancing
So that the rain moistens the earth
Even though this world is alive, coming closer together
Why do people hurt each other?
Why do partings come about?

Even if you go far away
You're still always right in the middle of my heart
While they remain completely buried by that kind smile
Even if I feel pain
In fragments of you that I held, because we're still connected
I believe that we can meet again
I'm waiting for your love

I love you, I trust you
I want you to share your loneliness with me
I love you, I trust you
Even in light, even in darkness
Because we're together, we're able to believe in each other
Please don't leave anymore

Who saw the end of the world?
Who announces the end of the journey?
Even though it's a long night and the answer can't be seen now,
I want you to move on on the road you believe in
Because from this point forth, the light is waiting for you

Even now, the song you taught me
Still remains within my heart
And echos along with that friendly voice
The overflowing tears of my feeling
Run over my warm cheek
Become strong, ne
Believe!
If we connect with each other
I'm always by your side

I love you
I trust you
The tears I shed are for your sake
I love you
I trust you
You taught me love
I love you
I trust you
No matter if you walk on the wrong path,
I'll be beside you!

I love you
I trust you
I want you to share your loneliness with me
I love you
I trust you
Even in light, even in darkness
I love you
I trust you
Even in sadness, even in happiness
I love you
I trust you
I want to protect you completely

No matter if you're walking on the wrong path
I'll be beside you!
Because we're together, we're able to believe in each other
Please don't leave anymore

~ Seirya@nana-nana.com/yunaforum

looking for the Muji 2009 Olefin Diary White B5

2008-12-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

if anyone saw this Muji 2009 Olefin Diary White B5 around, pls let me know k..

or kindly purchase it for me on my behalf, and i will pay u back

thanks!
sample here

bring in Airsoft!

2008-12-06T20:25:00.000+08:00

singapore should just allow airsoft la....

BALLS to paintballs

http://www.tokyo-marui.co.jp/products/index.html

Airsoft

2008-12-06T15:43:00.000+08:00

singapore should just allow airsoft la....

BALLS to paintballs

http://www.tokyo-marui.co.jp/products/index.html

Muji Xmas

2008-11-30T10:48:00.000+08:00

xmas

little red riding hood

rabbit and tortoise race

hansel and gretel

saw the above dioramas here

more of Muji Xmas 2008 gifts here

Bird's Eye - Bodies Of Lies soundtrack

2008-11-30T07:04:00.000+08:00

by Mike Patton & Serj Tankian

Initial Manga

2008-11-11T03:53:00.000+08:00

found this site with translated ID manga, continuing from where AStage 4 left off..

Manga 32
Manga 33
Manga 34
Manga 35
Manga 36

ID side story ( when Takumi was younger)

thank you for your words :)

2008-10-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

W says:
em...
just make sure u really get a gal who loves u adequately
u deserve it

Me says:
i thk she does now..
other than the disargeement we jst had
why u say that i deserve it.. u sound like u noe me v well
or wat type of bf i am

W says:
em...

W says:
i just noe u're a really nice guy

Me says:
and how do u noe

W says:
and should be a nice bf
em...inference?
instinct?
feeling?

Me says:
haha.. u noe me so well meh.. we didnt reali spend much time tog in hall 3
wow..
no one told me that b4
i gave u this this feeling?

W says:
yea... i think our frenship quite cute
as in like i nvr really talk to someone so much online
w/o talking to tt person face to face for not more than 5 times?

at least i noe u're a very senstitive guy
in the good sense
u care for ppl
u put ppl in front of urself
u noe how to sympathize and console
it's a skill many guys lack
as a person, i've seen ur determination

Just had the above convo with a long lost fren... Honestly, i was very surprised by what she said.. i think she's the only person to have said this to me... All that she said, were my hidden traits, behavior that is not normally displayed.. but my fren noticed it.

Smtimes, its reali nice to know that people appreciate you for what you do.. it's especially nice when they are not even the people that u are the nicest to.

Lomography

2008-10-07T09:07:00.000+08:00

just recently, I got to know this term called "Lomography"...

it's about these brand of plasticky cameras that takes old-school-looking pictures...

things like over-exposure, slow shutter speeds, exaggerated hues, pin holes, deliberate blurring, etc .... all these effects that can be easily emulated with Photoshop, but i have seen the actual pics.. nothing beats the real thing,,,

in case u're interested, here's one good tutorial,
link here

Some more links....

www.lomography.com

Diana Cameras

A guide to Lomography

character profiling..

2008-09-20T23:10:00.000+08:00

May Babies

Stubborn and hard-hearted.
Strong-willed and Highly motivated.
Sharp thoughts.
Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention.
Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally.
Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation.
Shy towards opposite sex.
Easily consoled.
Systematic (left brain).
Loves to Dream.
Strong clairvoyance. (the apparent ability to gain information about an object, location or physical event through means other than the known human senses, a form of extra-sensory perception)
Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck.
Good Imagination.
Good physical.
Weak breathing.
Loves Literature and the arts.
Loves traveling.
Dislike Being at home.
Restless.
Not having many children.
Hardworking.
High spirited.

quite true for all attributes, i must say.

...

2008-09-08T08:21:00.000+08:00

depressed

new psp gundam game...

2008-09-05T19:44:00.000+08:00

damn multiply.... can't post embedded videos here... so.. link here

just as i thought that i'm done with Battle Universe,

Bandai Namco dishes out yet another Gundam game... this time, this game caters to all gundam lovers... from the video, i see gundams from both the Alternate and Universal Centuries.... Wing, V, G, X, SEED, etc, even gundam 00!!!

eagerly anticipating this one

the new Tiger Airways

2008-09-04T21:28:00.000+08:00

nice TV dramas watched and to be watched...

2008-08-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

damn bored now.. derricky derrick and i just tried to stun ah wang by telling him that its IntroCA tmr... and our dear ah wang called uncle ho....at 0130 LMT/SG.

anyway...

here's the list....

Army Wives
finished Season 1 and 2, currently waiting for season 3. Highly recommended for pre-enlistee bfs to watch together with their pre-zao-sai gfs. This show quite accurately portrays the lives and feelings of the other half who is not in tekong. hopefully the gers can reflect upon themselves and think twice about 'jumping ship'; and to the guys.. this show is a gentle reminder not to neglect ur gf..

show can be found here

the Unit
my number 1 favourite TV drama, HOORAH!! finished all 3 seasons of it more than 5 times over, and eagerly waiting for S4..... it depicts the lives of a team of US Special Forces Rangers, (not the Navy SEALS). damn good storyline, good gunfights, and a stint of absolute guai-lan-ness and suave, befitting of men who are gd at what they do.. watch out for Robert Patrick, the guy who acted as the 'bad' Terminator in T2... if you can attain his level of eloquency, i assure u, no enciks will ever outtalk u... extras and DB gureenteed!

show can be found here

Good Luck!!
the old jap airline drama with Mr Gatsby starring in it.. never thought of watching it till i got into my course.. halfway through now..

check in here
(PS: one of the best frame rates i have come across for streamed videos)

Triumph in the Skies
next up would probably be this.. HK airline drama, filmed at HKIA....

Keitai Sousakan 7
last but not least, definitely going to catch this silly jap drama about a team of cyber detectives who are aided by a bunch of transforming, talking, wise ass Handphones.. and u thought the iPhone was cool?

anyone for tennis?

2008-08-21T05:30:00.000+08:00

missing tennis so much... Behold Boon Lay.. i'm coming back!

saw this cute range of Tees with tennis stick figures. link here.
tell me how to order!!

and i always wanted to have a bag like this that can hold my racquet...

TP thumbdrive virus galore

2008-08-12T17:36:00.000+08:00

the dark knight

2008-07-22T22:53:00.000+08:00

i watched it last week... it's really really damn fucking awesome.. it evoked so much feelings and thoughts in me... i don't normally blog about shows that i watched. this may be one of the very few non-military shows that i blog about.

i can't remember clearly, but at one point in the show, i felt like crying.. i just can't remember which part... and for the record, i must say the the Joker was really played very well. Extremely well. In fact, i literally felt fear in me in some of the scenes where the Joker appeared.. but that's not what caught me in the show..

when i watched the show, i felt an overwhelming surge of feelings surge through me.. the show really portrayed what i had strongly believed, that everyone exists for a purpose. And that there is a unseen balance in this world.

the relationship between Batman and the Joker is akin to the relationship between my father and i. We are both direct opposites of each other. I grew up to be almost everything that he is not. My character got molded by the experiences that I had with my father from young. I feel that I am here to make up for all his mistakes, I feel that I am here to look after my family in some aspects that my Father is not capable of. He is, without a shadow of a doubt, a very good father. But because of his bad temper, his past experiences. and alot of other things that had happened before I was born, he is a person with very low EQ. Yet, I grew up to be a person who is rather sensitive to people's emotions. I kept trying to pull everyone in the family together, but it is a very tough fight when i am doing it alone. When i got into my course, I even had the thought that it is a blessing that being in the same course as my brother, we would grow closer together. But now it seems, it's easier said than done.

A lot of things, we wanted it to happen in a certain way, but normally it doesn't. But that doesn't mean that we should stop trying. I, for one, never stop trying. Because I care enough for all these things that I would do anything to set things right. Sometimes it becomes unbearable. People ask me to let got, but i can't. If i let go, who is going to pick up the reins.

Like in the movie, Bruce Wayne wanted to give up his double life. He saw his opportunity in Harvey Dan, who could be the white knight of Gotham. However, his dream was soon shattered. Similarly, I am prepared to take the fall if I could set things right in my life. But as to when i can right all the wrongs in my life, if i could even achieve that, no one knows, not even me.

in the movie, Batman asked to be the bad guy. So that a balance could be struck in Gotham. Sometimes in life, someone has to be the bad guy too. I have heard this too many times, When someone comes down hard on you, it's because he cares. When he stops ranting on you, then you know that he no longer bothers. I scold my brother all thetime. I know he does not like it. Neither do i. But i hope he can learn as much as he can, and make all the mistakes that he will make at home. Because once he gets out to the working world, we can't protect him any more. The expense of this is that he and I are not as close any more. However, in future, he may grow up to be a more careful person. Who knows? if that happens, I'm glad.

in the movie, Alfred withheld the letter that Rachel wanted to give Bruce. He allowed Bruce to keep the one regret in him. The belief that Rachel had wanted to be with him, and he didn't treasure it. This regret kept him going. It kept him alive and it gave him his purpose.

I wonder how many times in life, does one tell a white lie to protect another. I feel that no one can live without a purpose, without a meaning. He would just be an empty shell then. Sometimes the things you say or do, can really make a big difference in someone's life. Which is why, I always try my utmost best in showing my appreciation to the ones i care, either by doing something, or telling them my sincerest feelings.

I feel sad sometimes, when i show my appreciation, and the other party does not seem to feel it. But that does not stop me from trying to show. For those whom i have shown my appreciation, accept it, for i am most genuine.

To :
I'm sorry for my harsh words. After I watched Dark Knight. I thought about things. It reminded me of what I used to always say: there's always 2 sides to every coin. It was just not meant to be for us to be. But along with unhappiness, also came good memories. I thought of the things you did for me. the surprise farewell, your card of encouragement, etc. These are things meant to be treasured too. Thanks for these memories

and to the little ger who calls me Papa:
you tell me things that I didn't know about myself. I am happy that I gave you such feelings and emotions. Somehow, you made me feel appreciated. I'm pleasantly surprised, because all this time while I am trying to make people around me feel appreciated, someone actually let me feel appreciated.

There's so much more to be done. In my lifetime, I wanna tell and remind everyone that I care for, how much I care. Never again, would I want the same thing with ah gong to happen. when i let you feel that you are special to me, where appropriate, give me a friendly jab to my shoulder, or give me a hug. That would be enough for this dark knight to retreat into the knight :)

who wanna go K1 Grand Final?

2008-07-21T21:04:00.000+08:00

Main Site : here
Schedule : here
(Note: early bird joy ride at 9am)

for those interested in playing the Go-Kart
(WEAR SHOES!)

Public Fun Karting Time-Trials

For who?:	For you, who are looking for a challenge and want to be crowned the first Champion on the F1 track!
How it works:	Karters will be timed and have their timings recorded. A Timing Board will show the names of karters with the top 10 best timings. The karter with the fastest time recorded over the 2 days will be crowned Champion!
Champion:	Champion Trophy + $500 in cash AND an opportunity to take part in the Formula BMW Scholarship Trials next year!
2nd and 3rd prizes:	Gift Vouchers from Participating Sponsors
Fee:	$12
Registration:	On

Public Fun Karting Experience

For who?: If you just want to have no frills fun!

Fee: $10 (Discount for selected memberships)

801 boys.. maybe we could go for the carnival then head down to FUNAN IT Mall for our teppanyaki buffet.

No control

2008-07-18T14:33:00.000+08:00

at the moment, i don't feel that i'm in control.... don't like this feeling... i may have lost the edge, and i need to get it back.

some even cuter ChoroQs.... and my KeroQ ;P

2008-07-08T14:55:00.000+08:00

more ChoroQ designs, including double deck buses, jetliners, etc, most of which, not seen in Singapore. link Here

Gunsou shall take over Pekopon in his KeroQ

some other links i stumbled upon..

Tactical Artwork

Muji BGM

TakaraTomy - Drift Package Light r/c cars

2008-06-29T12:08:00.000+08:00

OMFG... i'm love... i recently fell in love with Tomy's mini r/c cars.. i bought 2 different types in a week, first the CAUL then the Qsteer... and now.. i'm definitely going to get this shit...

if you watch the video in the site...

the tiny wonder actually did a choku dori

it has 2 motors inside, though i can't see what the 2nd motor is connected to.

it can actually hold a drift while u counter-steer on the remote commander.

it did a donut around a cup on a round coffee table

it parked between 2 other cars by doing a 180' turn, something which you would see in stunt driving

it can use different tires for drifting or grip driving.

and......

the rear wheels has fucking camber angle!!! anyone who knows about drifting knows that for a car to drift properly, the most basic set-up would be a limited slip differential and camber angles.. this bloody R/C has camber-angled rear tires!!!! what the fuck...

i'm definitly getting it when it comes out in july.. when converted from Yen, it should be ard S$50, still much cheaper than the bigger petrol/batt driven ones..

my first Q-steer..

2008-06-29T10:45:00.000+08:00

come come.. join the team Q-steer... lets race in LT and on the tables...

LINKS

An active site with many useful links: click here

Qsteer Police lights LED mod: here

Hardwarezone thread with price range writeup: here

ChoroQ to Qsteer conversion mod: here

Qsteer PSP program: here

Qsteer drifting clip: here

official Tomy site: here

some misc pics....

saw this Century Square, but its since been sold.

there is actually a lot of room under the car frame. I'm looking for lead pieces to attach under the hood portion to give the car a more realistic FR feel.

Choro Q!

2008-06-25T20:08:00.000+08:00

jono, terence and i are going to buy this to race in class.. it has a small turning radius so it can navigate the smallest table tops... even has boost on..

link

ads

daa

2008-06-22T21:17:00.000+08:00

i think i'm very distracted that night... i poured cold water into my cup of coffee powder...

so damn shagged from tennis today.... too long never play already, rusty. damn tired.... INTROCA have'nt finish, because i wanna redo it.. i think i go sleep now, tmr wake early to do...

someone mentioned to me, that he saw me writing: ask not what your country has done for you, but what have you done for your country...

he asked me, so what has your country done for you.. i replied almost immediately: it has given me a safe haven. To which, there was no further reply.

I hate it when people ask me things like this.. i think it's quite dumb.. if they are so discontented with this piece of land, then fucking go migrate la.. why stick around and whine and complain?

rojak of feelings..

2008-06-19T02:28:00.000+08:00

so many different emotions i'm feeling now... often contradicting each other..

there's this old man at my work place, who doesnt not do any work.. I often whine and show my discontent with his behaviour.. neither was i pleased when he tagged along when i went buy lunch yday. However, on our way back, he happened to be carrying the heavier pack of chicken rice. As if instinctively, I swapped my lighter plastic bag of desserts for his bag.. I may hate his work attitude, but to me, he is still an old man... maybe i miss my ah gong when i'm around elderly men...

then there was this instance when that familar, sickening feeling just came out of nowhere and strike me... I never expected it to strike me.. it seems the harder i try to fight my emotions, the harder they repel back. But, this time around, I wasn't fighting anything... or perhaps i was wrong?

probably due to my past experiences. now sometimes i like to pre-empt things. I like to think ahead and think about a best case senario. I begin to feel that, though this possesses as many pros as it does cons. Sometimes, I may just skip a likely positive senario just because I feel that there will/may be hiccups in my journey. Many a times, it resulted in irreversible regret.

Is this latest emotion a premonition, or just simply a sign, a go-ahead?

I really do not know.

There are, of course, many things I did which I regretted. Some of which are still fresh. How do i prevent myself from making the same mistakes over again? I may not possess as much foresight as I had thought.

- i hope u are doing well there and all the best. I'm sorry for my past folly.

flash mob

2008-06-14T21:43:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/v/KniY8jx-LI8&hl=en"> src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KniY8jx-LI8&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344">

that Forty-Ninth Day

2008-06-13T22:43:00.000+08:00

the saturday before my ah gong's 49th day, i went to Justina's 21st Bday party.

coincidentally, Windstruck was airing on tv. I mentioned that it was a coincidence because there was a relation to the spirit of the dead leaving the liviing world for good after 49 days. Reluctantly, I watched nearly half the show with my friends at the chalet.

Windstruck was one of my favourite shows. Its prequel, My Sassy Gal, was another of my favourites. According to timeline, MSG was actually events happening after WS, however, the 2 shows were released in reverse order. MSG is more of a romantic comedy, whilst WS is a tragic tear-jerker.

I had always wanted to watch the 2 all over again, but I didn't want to. These 2 shows are part of a memory of someone once special in my life. It's not that I still haven't let it go, I have long gotten over it. It's just that, I like these 2 shows very much. And I only want to watch them again with someone who can give me the same feeling that I had when i watched the 2 shows the first time around.

i want to watch PS: i love you too, but i don't want to watch it alone...

hmmm...

my mind is now a whirlwind of thoughts... thinking and looking back at things... can't focus my thoughts... end post.

801* bbq...

2008-06-10T06:21:00.000+08:00

i'm surprised there are hardly any pics...

but of course there are hardly any pics, because everyone is busy eating!

Not surprisingly, received outstanding feedbacks from my choiced menu...

Here's some of the crowd-pleasing favourites,

Rosemary Buttered Prawns
Korean-style teppanyaki chicken
bacon (streaky and back)
Homemade beef patties
Flame-grilled burgers
Sliced beef
Virgin Mojito
some other Drinks i mixed on the spot

However, there were seafood leftover, because no one noticed it in the corner. The teppanyaki seemed to get more attention than the BBQ items..

and so it seems my culinery skills have won the day once again...

So, to the other AMS-ers, i offer my services at BBQs in exchange for free food! hahaha..

PS: Guys who enjoyed the food, do expressed your Thanks to my friend JinSheng (in my frenster featured frens), he was the unfamiliar guy you saw walking around the pit. I would't be able to have done it without his help.. and Godwin for the cheap seafood..

1 of my past home-cooked suppers with Jin.. haha

IRONMAN trailer song here

2008-05-03T07:30:00.000+08:00

the link below is for the 1996 animated series Opening.. i can't seem to post the embeded player leh...

Link

anyway, if u want the song that is playing in the trailer.. the link is below too.

seen this loafers?

2008-05-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

anyone seen this pair of Lacoste loafers in stores?

if have, must tell me ya

and so she said i'm inspirational

2008-04-29T18:46:00.000+08:00

there was this QN in our school character profiling quiz..

"What would you die for?"

to my amazement, i replied without any hesitation

"Country, family, friends"

haha...

and what follows is the msn convo btwn Cheryl and I...

(after hearing my answer)

C: what had ns done to you.

me: alot... i reali matured alot after army... duNo leh. i thk im only one of the handful who likes the arMY for wat it is... saw the imptance of Singapore hvnig a gd armY... and alot of my thking matured... it Helped me understand my father's strict upbringing better and appreciate my family n impt ppl more... im thankful for that, bcos i was more guai to my ah gong after i enlisted.. and i hope that he knows and that he died knowing he had a filial Grand son

C: waaaa.. you go open ns talk

Me: i can, hahah... had this close fren. his thking also changed after i talked to him... last time , he was quite diao er lang dang... then i told him my experiences in the army and stuff... then after he enlisted, he became more responsible too... he signed on .. and is now a naval officer... i hv 2 close buddies... all 3 of us lke the military for various reasons. the other one is a radar specialist , also in the navy... i told them b4, my faith in them is strong engh to go to war tog with them

C: waaaaa.... the way you talk very inspirational leh... lols

Then she said i could go work for some famous guy who gives motivational talks.. haha...

Puma French'77 Racket Grip Bag...i want :(

2008-04-27T05:55:00.000+08:00

FRENCH 77 RACKET GRIP BAG

oh my god, it looks so irresistable... especially with my vintage wood Yonex racquet handle sticking out of the holder... I believe that the Puma French'77 series would be in store soon, and that it would be more easily attainable compared to that damn rooster from Le Coq Sportif which i had been frantically trying to hunt for, both online and offline. No thanks too, to the unhelpful staff of Royal Sporting House.

Over the years, I noticed that Puma has drastically evolved and their concept, mainstream ranges have been improved by leaps and bounds.. in fact, i own 2 of their jackets, one of which is modified into a Seigaku Puma jacket..haha.. i window-shop alot at the Puma stores alot these days... and i am thankful that my bank account balance is on the low side, or the cash registers at Puma would be ringing non-stop...

more articles on the upcoming French'77 series.. link 1, link 2, Puma link

Puma Glow Rider

also, i'm not sure if you guys noticed the Puma bike hanging at the Puma concept stores. PS:there's one at the Tampines Mall outlet... though it has an uncool pricetag, the bike itself sure looks cool, and it certainly is so cool that it will glow in the dark.. check out the main site here.

i don't know what this is.. but it's in one of the French'77 articles, and it looks really cool haha... site here

Belated thanx for coming..

2008-04-22T21:40:00.000+08:00

Thanks guys, for coming to my ah gong's funeral... its a little late, but i have been busy.

It feels good to have things planned out, though i'm starting to get a little busy again..

thank you, sansan, eric, jiajing, ivan, willie, alex, wai, kenny, ailin, yooki, zhihao and hwee teng for coming down.

i really appreciate it..

i was looking thru old photo albums, i can't find many of ah gong's pictures..

Sunday was the 7th day since he died. He didn't come back to find me.. I wrote a note telling him that i am sorry and left it on my table but i'm not sure he saw it. I left a pen there, neither did he write me anything..

I like to take photos with people. I always felt that photos are everlasting pieces of our memory that can never be destroyed. I feel even more strongly this way now that ah gong is gone. His Bday this year.. the very last one he will ever have. I had wanted to take a picture with him.. but for some reason, due to the hectic and rushed time spent there, i forgot to take a picture with him, and left. At that point, I could actually turn back and still have the chance to take a picture with him. However, I didn't.

This is one of the few regrets that i have in my life. That was the last Bday i will ever spend with ah gong. My friends tell me that he knows that I am guai to him, but I don't really know. I want him to tell me. I want to tell him sorry. Sorry that I have not done enough for him.

The last day of the funeral, I had wanted to carry his coffin, but caretakers wheeled it out. I didn't shed a tear when i saw his coffin being pushed into the furnace, neither did i when his remains were released into the sea. Why didn't i feel anything?

My friends keep saying that I am too emotional and stuff. I hate that. Once in a while i will talk about sad things, unhappy things. Because i want to be reminded about these things so that i will know how to treasure the happy things that i am previledged to have. They who ask me to accept the shit way things are, probably don't experience sad things themselves. Knowing that something is wrong, how can anyone have any happiness. THat is unless, he doesn't care enough to be affected by that unhappy incident.

Unless the preacher is living my life, he/she should not be the one telling me how to live it.

Once again, my character changed a little after ah gong died.

I tell myself it is never too troublesome to turn back. To turn that stone that have been left unturned. Many times in life, you just don't get that many chances. Be the best you can be. Saying this, i really regret not taking a photo with you as i had intended to that night.

Of course i would like it if one can be there by my side all the time. But i would really appreciate it that even though one is unavailable largely, one would appear during the most needed times.

I want to watch that Korean show again. "The Ride Home" or something. I know I would cry when I watch that. I wished I don't have to watch it alone..

ah gong zou le...

2008-04-14T08:40:00.000+08:00

i feel so unfilial.....

i couldn't even see him for the last time...

why they told me so fucking late... there was engh time... nabei la....

FUCK YOU ALL LA

twice i wasn't around for ah gong...

i wasn't around when he fell and knocked his head and ended up in his current state...

i wasn't around again when he had to leave..

i will never know if he could even recognise me throughout this period.

this thing, i do not wish to prepare for...

2008-04-13T19:04:00.000+08:00

it is my character that i want to be prepared for things. I want to pre-empt the forth coming situation and be ready for it.

But for the first time in my life.. i am sitting this one out...

earlier in the evening, my pa and ah ma were looking for Pictures of my ah gong... the last time they did that was back then when he first fell...

my ma just told me that they called to say ah gong now like not good again.. she asked me if i have any blue, black or white clothes.. i didn't bother to check, i just said no.

from my backview, i probably looked like i was messing around with my one-sixth figures, but from my point of view, i could see that my tears are falling all over the place...

ah gong... so is this it?

2008-04-13T17:00:00.000+08:00

few days back, i had wanted to blog that i could change anything, that i could do anything as long as i tried... it was because i had conquered one problem that i faced the previous week.

for the benefit of my peers and whomever who reads this, i hope you can learn from my experience. When you encounter a problem, avoiding it won't make it go away. It only lets you forget momentarily. Doing something, anything, even if it doesn't not solve the problem, will definitely improve the situation by any measure better than not doing anything at all. Even in the worst case scenario where nothing changes, you can still at least learn from your mistakes.

I'm not talking big. I'm making an example out of my own experience. Just recently, i was delivering letters for MOH. Somehow, I took a consignment which was apparantly too big for me to handle. I just procrastinating, kept brooding over the whole issue, kept making up excuses to my middleman that i needed to return the lot. However, in the end, i finally sat my ass down and tried to tackle the problem head on.

In the end, not only did i solve my problem, i even cleared the damn lot in double quick time. i hope you people can will do the same when faced with a problem. I see some of my friends, always running away from their problems, only to be plagued by them continuously.

anyway, i said i initially didn't want to blog that i could do anything because there was something that i know i will be powerless to effect any change. Something happened to ah gong on friday... they told me that he was gasping for breath. All my uncles and aunties went down. he had a heart attack. My ma later told me that he is ok le.. but after that, my gugu said that this week is very crucial for him. Even if he pulls through, he will be very weak, and we don't know how long more he will last... haizz... i feel very annoyed.. this is the 2nd time, wrong info is feeded to me. the previous time was when he fell, which had led to his current state. They only told me after he was admitted into ICU and lost his memory. Fuck.. haizz.. i keep trying to control my temper at home, but they just keep doing such stupid things. have they got no fucking brain? if he's ok, he's ok. If he's not, dont fucking tell me that he is...

i went down to see ah gong on sat. the nurse said that his condition is detoilerating. I stood there looking at him breathing through the respirator, trying to say something but too weak to even utter a word. I fought as bravely as ah gong to hold back my tears.. i went to the toilet, and wiped a bit of the moisture from my eyes.. it was only 1 day before that i proudly told myself that i could do anything as long as i gave it my all. But here i am now, staring helplessly. My mind drifited back to that time when he fell and hit his head at home. No one was at home. It was only when my ah ma came home, that she noticed blood on his pillow. He didn't even remember hitting his head. When they told me, it was already a day later, he had already in ICU and visitors were forbidden as the doctors said he had a TB relapse. Still i went in to see him. A few weeks later, my ma and i were diagnosed with latent TB. We had inactive TB cells in our lungs. My ma probably got it as her immune system wasn't good. I felt that i got it because i went into his isolation ward that night. And also because i always talked to ah gong at home.

I didn't say so explicitly, but i kept thinking why didn't i return home earlier. I had intended to return home from hall one day earlier, but i changed my mind at the last minute. Perhaps i could have caught him when he fell, maybe i could have known earlier that he fell and called for help earlier. There are endless possiblities. i asked myself why i couldn't have have answered most of them. I have been able to tackle most problems life has thrown at me so far, but there are just some things which i can't accomplish no matter how hard i try.

i know that everyone's time will come. I just wonder why i couldn't have done more. Ah gong's bday this year, i forgot to take a photo with him. I may never get a chance to take another photo with him again. The picture below was taken some time last year after i heard him saying he saw Buddha sitting beside him. I regretted not turning back to take a photo with him during his last bday.. i may never get to celebrate another bday with him

OMG!.. a zaku phone with a Zaku head charger

2008-04-11T06:37:00.001+08:00

article

"Zaku's head opens up for you to recharge the 913SH that comes in the package. The screen of the phone then switches to Mono-eye mode and moves left n right randomly.
If you get bored watching the eye, just flick a switch to watch TV as it has digital one-seg TV built in.

Apart from the usual camera, internet browsers, 1GB of internal memory and wot not, the phone also comes with pre-recorded Char phrases."

My Bday coming hor.. i dont mind getting this! hahahaha...

God Keron(below) is cute too.. but i got no more space in my room..haha

OMG!.. a zaku phone with a Zaku head charger

2008-04-11T06:37:00.000+08:00

article

My Bday coming hor.. i dont mind getting this! hahahaha...

God Keron(below) is cute too.. but i got no more space in my room..haha

Repost: I wanna be a vintage tennis player

2008-04-09T19:10:00.000+08:00

Link

i am patient towards old folks

2008-04-08T19:21:00.000+08:00

i always believe that when pushed to the limit.. most man's senses heighten. They become more self-aware and observe and notice things that they normally would not...

owing to my predicament now, i experience this momentary ESP.

and it is at the same moment, i happened to be watching the Ch8 documentary on garung gunis. Seeing how the old uncle and auntie have to toil to earn a meagre pay, i felt a wave of emotions rush through me. i can't really tell what is that feeling.. maybe i feel fortunate that i don't have to work that hard.. but i think it's the sight of the old folks that give me that emotional tsunami.

somehow, i always have a soft spot for old people and young kids... that day, i was taking MRT home.. then this old lady came to sit beisde me. All of sudden, she starts talking to me about over-eating and growing fat, not being able to walk.. she repeated that more than 10 times for the entire duration of the train ride. I just sat there, listen to her patiently, nodding or replying in acknowledgement to what she says.. I think she is senile, and after some time, i realise she was refering to the fat man sitting in front of us.. Fortunately, he was a malay and he didnt understand what she's saying...

i noticed i am very patient with old folks.. i just feel that they are very gentle and sometimes even though they talk non-stop and dont seem to make any sense, i will listen to them talk. I feel that they hv accumilated a wealth of experience for as long as they lived. Never mind that, it may not be something that we can learn from, but they want to share something with us..

hmmmm.. i'm a very strange person.. i never treat 2 person the same way.. maybe similar, but never the same... i feel that everyone is unique, and i should treat everyone differently... Though i will treat every asshole as an asshole.. those people whom i dislike know very well who they are... and no point rebuking.. i have supporters of my opnion anyway..

jialat.. i also dunno what i'm saying now.. hmmm,,, jsut have alot of thoughts in me now....

haizz.. i have not jogged.. ippt on sat.. and so stressed about the letters...

i want this Sportif tennis bag!!

2008-04-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

and this vintage top too...

I can't find it anywhere, even online... i tried the Sportif site, but the whole damn site is in french.. i cant navigate it also... argh....

fanned,,,

2008-04-07T15:41:00.000+08:00

haizz... so fann.... trapped between the 2 walls of oligation and duty.... how to get out...

and another ceiling of shit threatens to crumble....

Jackass the Movie... definitely not for the weak

2008-04-01T13:58:00.000+08:00

i nearly vomited from some of the acts they carried out... eg. drinking horse semen...

watched 2.5 and Number 2... after watching the first movie, that will be the end. no encores pls...

am I a Facebook fan?

2008-03-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

judging by what i see in the alerts, i would say No..

so now i'm a counsellor

2008-03-23T10:56:00.000+08:00

2 different ppl in slightly under 12 hours.

i don't know what the hell is wrong with people these days...

they cant' and they don't solve the problems the created, but when someone, with greater potential than them, comes along, and wanna do something about the shit, they shut him out.

what the fuck is wrong with them. at least now it seems, i managed to close one case, for the time being.

when talking sense don't work, try knocking..

the other case is a very very long walk to victory, if any to speak of in the first place.. it is my father...

haizz.. i been trying for so many years... but somehow i felt i could change something...

just now, i just felt empowered to effect a change and that it was my destiny, i felt that my ability to be aware of feelings and seeing things from people's perspectives put me in the position to do something.

when i stepped out of the shower just now, the afternoon sun was shining right at me through my window...

i thought to myself...

what does the world look to you now?

Light and bright...

not-good friday

2008-03-22T01:12:00.001+08:00

don't feel like sleeping...

it has been very long since i had some 'me-time'

just lie down, do nothing and think about stuff.

i like those times.. it's my way of meditation. It makes me feel self-aware.

today hasn't been a very pleasant day for me.

right after lunch, Pa was yelling about in the house with other relatives around.

Apparantly the recorder was left on and it heated up in the cabinet. He then stormed around the house yelling at elwyn and I to see who was the culprit.

It wasn't me. I don't even know how to operate it. However, today, for once, after my talk with elwyn that day, i believe that neither was he the one. I reaffirm my believes because there were other people in the house, and little audris was fiddling with the remote prior. It may have been turned on accidentally.

i really hate Pa for behaving this way. He behaves like a stupid brat with unhappy childhood memories, who keeps harping on an unhappy past that he is unwilling to share nor accept a forth-coming brighter future.

I foresee that i will spend the better part of my life trying to change my Pa's mindset, regardless of success or failure. I take it upon myself to stand up to things that i deem wrong. Don't anyone question my judgement about what is right or wrong. I trust my judgement. And the very reason that i stand up to these incidents, is simply because no ones does. Everyone is just too bloody busy or lazy to stand up to unjustness. I have an eye for certain things. I believe that it is my gift. I must use this gift of noticing things to help people, to help change things.

i had a quarrel with an old friend today. i was very upset about the disagreement. i was already feeling very upset because of my Pa, and now this.. the other line was probably too preoccupied being shrouded with anger that she failed to realise that i was tearing.

I care for everyone around me. In my heart, there are some people that i feel closer to, even they themselves do not know it. Sometimes when i can, i would do more things for them, go the extra mile. Maybe because they do not know about my feelings, that's why they take me for granted. But i don't blame them. Not everyone is like me, always putting others before self. But there are also some who know their place in my heart, and yet they allow themselves to hurt me.

It's not good that i critise others. I, too, am guilty of being nasty to my ma. Haizz.. i just get very worked up everytime she says something to me. Why am i so impatient? i am very sick of me behaving this way. But i just can't change.. i wished i had someone here to guide me...if you, who reads my blog, care enough for me, help change me.

like i always say. there is always 2 sides to every coin. while there are people who take me for granted, there are also people who appreciate me. Thank you ailin for telling me that i'm one of the nicer guys you know. it's comforting to know that not everyone is blind

====================================

i got into aviation management.

i feel that this is a new beginning and a new destiny awaits me.

i drew inspiration from a scene in 'The Unit s1e1"

"the whole universe has been conspiring to put you right here, right now."

in fact, i drew alot of inspiration from these guys in the show.

i pushed meself to go harder after i fell that time. it was horrible. yet, what they said in the showkept me going.

i reminded myself to ready a Plan B, so that i will not be caught unprepared should my application failed

Though very unexpected, my initial application failed. i was utterly disappointed. Howvere, not all hope is lost. I had actually made 2 diff applicatlons. one of which was a direct application. This was my wet-weather contingency which i was about to pull out very soon. Fortunately, my appeal for application succeeded after an appeal. Nevertheless, i was prepared to react.

anyway......i didn't tell anyone this.. but deep down in my heat, i feel that one of the reason why i picked this course was bcos elwyn was in this course too.. hnowing his chatacter, i want to be there to watch his ass

not-good friday

2008-03-22T01:12:00.000+08:00

don't feel like sleeping...

it has been very long since i had some 'me-time'

just lie down, do nothing and think about stuff.

i like those times.. it's my way of meditation. It makes me feel self-aware.

today hasn't been a very pleasant day for me.

right after lunch, Pa was yelling about in the house with other relatives around.

Apparantly the recorder was left on and it heated up in the cabinet. He then stormed around the house yelling at elwyn and I to see who was the culprit.

====================================

i got into aviation management.

i feel that this is a new beginning and a new destiny awaits me.

i drew inspiration from a scene in 'The Unit s1e1"

"the whole universe has been conspiring to put you right here, right now."

in fact, i drew alot of inspiration from these guys in the show.

i pushed meself to go harder after i fell that time. it was horrible. yet, what they said in the showkept me going.

i reminded myself to ready a Plan B, so that i will not be caught unprepared should my application failed

day 2 in thailand

2008-03-09T18:09:00.000+08:00

looking at the pics i have taken.. i think i am a budding photographer beaming with potential haha...

My pics of the kids, ie. human portraits, are all shaky and stuff, probably cos the camera isn't as fast as the restless baby. Ironically, my scenic shots seemed to be more well taken. I guess reading up on photography books helped.

i was at the beach today. the water was so clear and blue, u could see right into it. The resort was sited at a part of the island that protudes out into the sea. I can't remember the term for it, but i learnt in geography that this is the point where the current drops the most deposits. Which is why the sea-level is shallow, at about knee deep, for a long distance out into sea. However, the current is very strong and swift at the apex of the island.

It is somewhat scary. It feels like i will be swept out to sea. The current drags me out even when i swim at a normal pace. At that moment, I felt that i understood why people say that people drown because they do not respect the sea... I felt at peace with the sea, though i choose not to look down at the seabed haha... i guess one who respects others, always deserve to be respected.

ok.. im going back to room now.. the room is awesome... and super lac-jack feel.. will post pics when i get back.. I regret not bringin my camera's docking station... going to some island tmr.. nt sure if im diving...

to sum up Day 2... this island here is very beautiful.. the sunny weather, sandy beach in the day, the tranquility of the night and the dazzling star-filled skies at night... how i wished there was someone here to share every moment with me...

hello from Thailand...

2008-03-08T15:41:00.000+08:00

im surprised to find an internet room here on this island.

It's an island resort... the scenry here is amazing..

should have brought my camera docking station, then i will be able to upload the amazing pictures i have taken of the beach.

miss u all, esp after all the catching up last night...

gtg, dinner's coming....

going thailand sat to sat..

2008-03-06T21:01:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. hven packed my bag... i will be sharing a room with Nicole and Brendan...

scary la! .. those 2 kids have a vivid history of wetting their beds in their sleep...

I think i had better don a CBR suit as i sleep..

went to visit ah gong today. he was falling asleep in the afternoon when i got there. When i got there, he was holding his hand to his head and said that he knocked his head. He didn't say much. I asked the maid, she said dont have. My xiao shu said that he is getting blur already. Haizz... i went back later in the night, around 8 again, but he was taking a nap after dinner again. I had wanted to tell him that i was going on a holiday with er shu, but i didn't get the chance...

GuGu told me a few days back that ah gong is getting old le. I do not wish to ellaborate, but it's the senile/blur-kind-of-old that hurts me deeply when i knew about it.. he stays too far from me. It's very hard for me to visit him often. I want to treasure whatever time is left.

I thought back about some of the things and people who have left impressions in my life. Some appreciated me, some don't. I appreciated some, some i didn't. For those i didn't appreciate, i'm thankful they are still around. I regretted my actions in the past... :(

testing

2008-03-05T06:19:00.000+08:00

testing

anyone wants to buy a Nalgene?

2008-03-04T21:16:00.003+08:00

Anyone wants to get a Nalgene?

It is:

Extremely durable
Resistant to staining
Resistant to retaining odors
Recommended for "extreme" adventures
Dishwasher Safe (top rack only)
Withstands temperatures from -135ºC (-211ºF) to 135ºC (275ºF)

I want to sell my 1L, Sage Green wide-mouth Nalgene. It's brand new, never been used, with the shrink-wrap still on.. come come.. negotiate price with me...

Come on guys,

Bring out the Metro(sexual) in you today!
As for the feminine fairer sex, fret not the macho-ness in this indestructible bottle,
for it will Bring out the sportiness in you!
Guys dig sporty gals! Haha...

ok, you must be wondering why i wanna sell my Nalgene just 2 days after i bought it. There's nothing wrong with it.. just that, I fell in love with another Design...

i am a self/others-proclaimed Aimbo (Army-Himbo)..

even the guard at my house uses a Nalgene, i got to get something different, and more garang! haha..

the BLACKHAWK! logo is just too cool, and on top of that, tbis design is used by the Angmor army... Hoorah..

actually I rushed out to get it just now, right after i called to check if Sheares had stock for it. But, it was a stupid case of mis-communication when i got there. They had it in their warehouse, not the outlet.. haizz.. a wasted trip...

have u ever had this feeling that you wanted something so much, that you just got to lay your hands on it no matter what?

Ya, this is that moment now... so bloody hell, i got to make my way there again tomorrow. Hopefully the stock will arrive in time, and i can get it on my way to the stupid Brendan's house...

And this was only the first mis-comm case tonight... There was another incident at the Prata shop near Sheares.. I asked if there was egg prata and to which, i was replied a Yes. My prata was then served by an Indian who didn't speak english. I realised my egg prata was in fact kor-song. What followed was a conversation which us Chinese would refer to as, a chicken trying to converse with a duck.

Finally, i decided to clarify with the english-speaking cashier. Now he says that they don't sell egg prata, when he said they did just moments ago!

Now, which prata shop doesn't sell egg prata? It's akin to a chicken rice stall not selling chicken, Burger King not selling burgers, etc...

it wasn't a very pleasant night for me... :(

revival

2008-03-04T12:47:00.001+08:00

WUUU!!..

my blog's back Haha...

i finally found out the error when i tried to double post...

temporary switch of address

2007-03-11T17:42:00.000+08:00

until i can get the darn Multiply to double post again.. i will not be able to blog here....

everything's here for now...

My Heritage

2007-02-20T17:33:00.001+08:00

Midnight Fest

2007-02-16T06:09:00.000+08:00

Ya… so I was the impromptu tour guide to 7 Ang Mors.. I got quite a lot of bewildered stares from the hall residents… quite funny also… one Singaporean, 7 angmor… brought them to shop in Chinatown.. then we were ferried to Geylang where I gave them the opportunity to savour the amazing Beef Kway Teow, Frog porridge and youtiao…. Quite an experience…. After that when we returned to hall… I thought I would have an early night.. but I thought it would hurt to have a short game of NFSU2 with Jeff.. in the end, Jeremy was so caught up in our excitement that he too installed the game and we raced till 5am…

I sucked at Drag races big time… I told them that I’m an asian.. I cant do drag.. I can only DRORIFTO!!!!…. heading home now…. Overslept.. only woke at 1pm…

I still cant find my rhythm…

testing testin

2007-02-15T13:11:00.000+08:00

testing the bloody crossposting again...

shit...

2007-02-14T02:38:00.000+08:00

i still cant find my pace.. haizzz wake up leh!!!!

and to make matters worst.... the stupid woman Flora tormented me for over half an hour by asking me why I use bar soap.... i'm sharpening my chopper now...

this week..

2007-02-09T10:57:00.000+08:00

i cant find my pace this week... fuck.. whole week never do anything... how come like that...

FUCK LA!!!!!

Cannot, cannot...

2007-02-06T03:57:00.000+08:00

as we sat there in our seperate worlds.... a love melody played in the background...

sometimes, a desire alone is not enough to make things happen...

back then i told myself, if Pa can do it, so can I....

But somehow I feel that I'm still very far from what I want to be...

i had tried pushing myself.. but to no avail...

To a certain extent, i was once again misunderstood by Pa...

Many a times, things just don't turn out the way I hoped them to be...

Too many times already...

saturday...

2007-02-04T03:06:00.000+08:00

They asked me to make a thumbnail for the NTU Open House'07. The theme is Boxes of surprises, but I dont seem to see any box of surprises in the pic I made.. haha.. whatever.. i got no idea la...

-------

and so we won.. for our pride... i didnt do as well as i had wanted to... i never expected this new game plan would revolve the game around me.. i was expecting to be the keeper again or juz a forward player somewhere... all these while, I had been the goalie, as a result, my stamina wasnt reali up the mark.. could have done much better.. i missed all the through passes... but i did managed to execute the 2nd game plan sucessfully, which was to lure the defender out.. HAha.. the art of deception..

this is longest week i have spent school so far since school started... four day week has failed to kick in yet... i wonder if Pa will think that I delibrately start back longer this week after what he said to me last week.. after all, I'm misunderstood by him in every I do since young..

i cant seem to find my place anywhere.. it seems that every new place i go, it is already complete. I dont have a place there.. it's either that or it's because I am myself incomplete... i don't have my answer yet...

who i am? what should I be doing... one day, i will find my answer... but when will this day come...

I'm like this Marvel special character who will jump out when anyone who needs me presses 'medium punch, medium kick"..

i have yet to find something that i feel that i'm good in... maybe that's why i'm always searching...

it would seem, most of the time, i stand alone... no one seems to understand what im doing nor appreciate what im doing... but it doesnt mean i'll stop believing in what i believe in, it just means that I have to search longer...

worried

2007-02-03T06:26:00.000+08:00

i'm worried about the Polo match later... will i be able to perform up to expectations... will i let the team down? .... i'm worried...

polo.... scofield...

2007-01-30T10:35:00.000+08:00

It was music to my ears... We are getting that well-deserved Polo Finals Rematch... I sms the team right after big fat Jackie called... those who never got my msg probably heard me screaming from my window...

This is the time to reali fucking whoop ass... all those bloody buggers out there who got any fucking issue with Three, take it to the pool... our gameplay will shut ur ass up... I am going to start jogging again to prep my legs... This is the only time so far that I am running.... my legs seem busted for good... Anyway, I am sick of hearing that Three is so and so, Three is fucked up... ok FUCK YOU LA hor... dont bother making any comments if you only dare to talk out of the pool.. fucking piece of shit.... see also sian... fuck...

i feel bad that I have never been to any of the appeals.. Haiya Jackie will probably say i'm lying..

Flunked the Open last nite... the doubles was good.. though we lost but I know I played well... it brought up mmy confidence for the singles.. but for some reason, I cant find my rythmn for it... And I thought my opponent can't play.. haha..

watched Prison Break last night.. the latest Episode.. finally it's out... I remember there was an Episode.. the psychitris told the doctor that Scofield had a very perculiar behavior... He was very sensitive to the sufferings around him... Probably because he had personnally been through it before... maybe i'm just like him.. but unlike him, I lack his wisdom or wit.. I can't really make most things happen.. as hard as i may try.. there are many things that I can do. but I'm glad I tried my best... sometimes it's lonely doing all these things.. but i would feel worse if I just stood by and did nothing and watch something that is wrong continue to rot... Perhaps too many a time, i was left to fend for myself.. which resulted in me not wanting to see people helpless.. most of the time, I have more luck helping others other than myself..

I don't like it.. as I put it.. My serve never gets a deserved return.... My actions never get reciprocated... how long has it been that I did anything for anyone and that someone was there for me too...

Ma said that they know i'm good.. jsut that they never say it out.. it's not that.. if it's that, it's ok.. but the thing is that whatever I hear from Pa is always that I'm not good enough.. in the past, i would feel anger.. but now I would try to improve myself... however most of the times, i do feel that I reali am misunderstood...

I want to be as smart as him but I cant... I cant learn anything from him when he just asks me, "do you know about so and so thing?" and stop talking when I say I didn't know... I always refer to him as a S2 and me, an Intspec.. probably cos I was indeed an Intspec in the army... if he can predict a course that will be vital 6 years before it happened... i dont understand why he cant pass on his wisdom to me... like in the army.. the best Int spec in the army can't work if the S2 does not feed him information and guide him... I can never learn this way... and it doesnt help that they dare not let me try alot of things since young.. for fuck they wan to be so strick.. every thign also scared... even driving out to have suppper... its as though I am going for war.. "Why go so far?? GO nearer place to eat"" such stupid nonsense... if nothing of importance is not worth doing then life is worth living...

I'm really sick and tired of being this stupid lone ranger... but i know i wont quit doing what I do.. its not in my blood.. after all the misery i have been through.. I cant bear to be a bystander.. though at times, i have to take into account piority....

Tonight...

2007-01-27T03:01:00.000+08:00

went out with the sengkang gang for supper at Geylang.. farewell for alex who will be sailing for over a month... the parents were grumbling that Geylang too far la, very complicated la.. wat ever the fuck... They still dont understand that I cant grow up in a sheltered environment... anway.. i managed to park parallel in a lot that Kenny gave up with ease.. Yeah!! Result of countless practices in the carpark.. this goes to show that you work to solve probs and not run from them...

took alex's R34 game card too.. gonna work on that haha.. Arcade stage is the only closest thing I got to the world of drifting... so, well...

I dreamt of a Black R34 that night too.. shit...

I don't understand.... why do I keep thinking of the wrong ppl... ppl that I think I shouldnt?

die la.. why no boost???

2007-01-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

Damn shit.. I have not gone for any lecture this week at all sia… it’s crazy but I really enjoy sitting alone in hall to read on my own… but the tutorials this sem are really short and they are too easy.. I don’t feel comfortable with it.. in any case.. it had been quite an eventful week… as such, I have not had the chance to do more work than I had wanted to.

Monday: Went to restring racquet. Took longer than expected.. tried out the new strings till the flood lamps in the NIE courts turned off all of a sudden.. went back hall, couldn’t settle down.. so I decided to lay down for a while. It was 12am…

Tuesday: Next thing I knew, it was 10am in the morning.. missed 2 lects, and so that kickstarted my self-learning week… that afternoon, went to play tennis again, but was totally out of form… following which, was the Cheerleading competition which took up the rest of the night…

Wed: ok, long day.. to my horror, my Computing tutor is the same guy, but he seemed to teach better than last sem.. well, it’s only the first lesson… then BioBiz.. this time the lect was a full 3hrs.. next I went back to hall and ended up napping for an hour.. ok…. Blah blah blah, tried to do some work.. then met Flora for supper.. she said she would be paisay if I were cooking for her. So in the end, she made me cook with her instead and gave me some of her noodles which had more mushroom than mee…. We ate in her room and chatted till 3… had to close the door at some point cos she was laughing too loud..

Hall 3's cheerbear!!

Thurs: woke up at 9. cant go lect today again cos of swimming training. Flora asked me the night before to wake her up.. but I ended up waking her every hour from 9 to 1 to no avail. I fell asleep over my notes at some point and ended up tearing them.. fuck.. ok, come 1am.. every other girl in my team has medical probs and the only ‘healthy’ one didn’t want to get out off bed… what sia.. I didn’t miss 3 lects to be greeted by a zero attendance… in the end we only had Flora, Cpt, Bertram, stupid Jackie, black sumiko and me. Then we had lunch outside and by the time we are back, it’s already 4… ok so chop chop, pack bag, go go… then it started to drizzle. Bloody hell one leh.. everytime I wanted to go home or play tennis, it would rain…

Anyway, I made it to JP, had a few rounds of initial D and I’m blogging now on the train which is traveling slower than I can drift a car sideways.. it’s going to be a short weekend again cos of swimming… ahhh.. 4 day week will only come into effect next week.. KIN LA!

Polo Bo Bo

2007-01-25T20:14:00.000+08:00

There was a goddamn big Hoohah over the water polo finals… initially I thought I knew what was happening.. then I got what I thought was a third party view, but now I feel that may too have been a corrupted opinion… I am not going to pass any judgment as of yet.. not before Cpt tells us what happened… I had wanted to talk to him but I never got the chance.

I may only be a stand-in Manager..it may only be a simple game, but somehow I feel responsible for this team… I don’t want them to be kept in the dark of anything.. I don’t want the name of this team to go down in shit… Since I had invited the guys to play a part in the team, I cannot let our name go to shame.. I don’t want everyone to be unable hold their heads high when polo is mentioned.. I do not wish that the guys to be ashamed to mention that they were from the polo team.. I don’t want our hall to be sneered at..

Not that I feel extreme love or hate, but since I’m here in this hall, I’m not allowing myself to have rotten memories.. whatever it is, we must fight for it.. not all in the team will feel this way, but at least I do..

I don’t care what others say… All I know is that, whatever I see everytime at the pool, at the trainings, that’s the real deal… evreryone is there.. we may be late for training, but we are nevertheless there in the shit together… more than half the team has never touched a polo ball in our lives before, not to mention, we weren’t even strong swimmers to begin with… to be there from the first time till the last day, there is no bullshit in that.. the scores speak for themselves.. we may have particularly good players, but the rest of the team aren’t fucking benchwarmers. I may tease Brendan for the goal he scored, but without prior training, the coordination and teamwork displayed during that goal would never have been possible. That, I honestly think, is not something any fucking bugger can argue about.

What ever we do, do it with pride… there’s no joy in just passing through the motion.. I take pride in being in this Polo team.. not because we are good, but because everyone is there together no matter how tough it is.. there is this sense of belonging… it doesn’t matter if the other members don’t feel this way because I know I do.

That is enough for me.

ARGH!!!! boost me on!!!

2007-01-24T09:25:00.000+08:00

die la.. yday whole day wasted... whole morning nv do much.. then the CheerLeading comp took longer than expected..but it was quite an experience.. never seen anything like it before... yeah..

and we won! should have joined rite? ..but 5hrs of hardwrk everyday is no joke..

she's Flora, and i'm Fauna.. haha... she's so happy when the results are released... hugging everyone else but me.. Die already.. you going to suffer during swimming!

we are montfortians.... not the blue one...

~~~~~

you know... sometimes when you get bored...

Instant pasta with Ikea meatballs.. mama mia

HAIYO! I DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING LECT!!! It's crazy, but I actually find joy in studying myself in hall. Well, since I have decided I'm too lazy this mornign.... I had better bloody boost-on with Eurobeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sleeping beast..

2007-01-23T10:18:00.000+08:00

i dozed off at 12 last night... only woke up at 10 this morning.. missed 2 lectures.. wat the fuck happened to me sia..

ARGH....

went to restring racquet last nite.. muz try it out!!! But it took longer than expected.. or rather the journey took super long.. so couldnt join benja and amanda for badminton... damn sian to travel in Singapore.... takes so fucking long for such a small country..

My bad..

2007-01-20T03:50:00.000+08:00

Recently, there were instances when I failed to make good what I had always said I aimed to be...

But, where do you draw the line? this line to divide word ofhonour and family... I am very sorry, but at the same time,thankful to JM... I failed myself.. I said I would always be there to help if I could but till this date, I have yet to do so...

-------

For too many a times, I have seen what I irked... Many a times, I felt betrayed... People did things when they said so otherwise... It just disgusts me to see people ignoring things that dont seem to concern them directly when their 'lives' are currently alright... just because they are okay now, they ignore things around them... maybe they are just too good for other petty troubles... fuck.. when it concerns them, they will be there, otherwise they cant be bothered.. wonderful...

perhaps its my retribution that I am at the receiving end this time.. but i had always tried my best.... just this one time, and I'm to be condemned? it ain't right..

and fuck u Pig... warping tales behind my back.. but im thankful that there are people who knows how rotten are you and people who believe in me.. so u may continue churning pigshit out of your mouth, scolding frens/gfs of your 'frens' right in their faces, etc... perhaps his parents didnt bring him up properly enough... for that, i convey my heartfelt condolences.

Are there any good men left?

Only war will decide...

the only litmus test can be a calamity...

IHG Rugby..

2007-01-13T01:48:00.000+08:00

Ready for War!!!!!! How the hell did I roared till I looked like that?

This is the shit man... The mud on our faces is soil.... Soil from the field la...

I'm somewhere there....

There... the joker with ankle socks..

ah push.. push some more...

here we go again..... there! number 12!!

Up, up and away....

The Art of Bullshit

2007-01-12T18:52:00.000+08:00

I had failed to get any electives initially. Partly due to following the advice of a Prof Sim to concentrate on the other subjects. However, 802 seemed easy on second thoughts. I was worried about clearing AUs.. i spent a good deal of time transiting between schools in a futile bid to appeal for an easy elective.

However, it may seem that NTU does not encourage students from studying, not that they discourage it blankly though.. No one picks up the phone, nor replies the emails.. A visit to NBS and a brief session with a A/P Loh seem to prove my point. The moment it was revealed that I was not a business student, the tone changed noticeably. When asked if improvisions could be made to allow another student, "What? Just for you?" was shot back at my face... I thought we should be encouraged to study?

Or so I thought.

In any case, i also noticed the tones of the Profs are quite different before and after I enrolled into NTU... oh well.. character building does not seem to be an elective, so it's no wonder...

Anyway, I tried another email to SBS, my last try it would be.. To my surprise, they replied less than 2 hours later... Really appreciate it Ms Irene!

I couldn't have pulled this off without dunking a tonner load of bullshit...

Hoohah..

To whom-it-may-concern,

I am a first year engineering student. I have been rather unsuccessful in the application for an elective during this add/drop period. I had bidded for BS802 BioBiz, intending to take it as a PE under the STS category. However, I was not shortlisted.

In view of the Government's efforts to turn our nation into a Biopolis, I feel that this subject can provide me with a fruitful insight into the world of Biology and its applications in the Corporate world. On top of that, this subject can allow me to learn something new and very different from my chosen course of study.

I sincerely hope that you will reconsider my appeal and give me the opportunity to take up this subject. I am looking forward to you reply.

Regards

.....

2007-01-05T16:26:00.000+08:00

i wanna go Muji to get a bigger organiser.. I had one already.. but i liked the pages that can fit into the bigger one.... damn... and i even bought the hole puncher for the smaller organiser... haizz what to do...

now left leg is hurting at the pelvis, because I did a somersault into the swimming pool... and my right shoulder is sore... presumeably from swimming and polo...

a letter from the past....

2007-01-05T05:15:00.000+08:00

i found this email accidentally when i was mailing the previous post to Ma... Leong forwarded me this conversation between her and Ma some years ago...

> > From: Nancy_ANG@........> Date: Fri 02/07/2004 9:38 AM GMT+08:00>
To: meow_leong@......>
Subject: Re: letter
> > > >
Dear Joanna,
> We are also affected by the blackout. The whole Sengkang was in darkness
> except for those areas with stanby power. Initially, I thought Elwyn was
> the culprit till i hear shoutings from outside. Our condominium lights was
> restored quite fast although it was still dark outside. We didn't panic as
> Uncle is always well prepared for such tjings. He has torchlights put at
> strategic positions. Sometimes, we think he is too overly cautious but when
> things does happen, we would realise it's good to be well prepared.>
> I know Ben wants to do more but he is restricted by his tight schedule and
> not so good planning. We are all hard pressed with time but we just have to
> adjust and plan properly. I am also very busy both at home and at work.
> Recently, even more at work because I have been away from the office.
> First, it was my medical leave . I have never taken so many ML in my whole
> career before. I've taken so many days plus the time off for my medical
> check-up that last week I took my own vacation leave tor rest instead of
> ML. I was also down with a very bad cough. I cough so much esp at nights
> that I do not have a proper sleep for countless nights. Now I am almost 90%
> recovered but after consulting the doctor 4 times. So I tried to sleep
> earlier to make up for the lost sleep.>
> I am also involved in the ISO certifcation and was sent for course. I am
> also involved in another project which requires me to be away form the
> office for many days. All these are taking away alot of my time in the
> office to clear my works. But I try to draw a line between my work and
> home. The other day, I sound so "sian" was because I was not having enough
> sleep.>
> Actually, quality time is much more impt than quantity time. I do not mind
> Ben not spending much time with me so long as there is quality time. He
> also wants to spend time with you and that I understand. He is unhappy that
> he cannot comes home daily but again not everyone can do that as well. He
> just got to accept the situation. Life is like that. How to have everything
> to our desires? We have to learn to acept with more positive attitude and
> we would be happier. Instead of being so negative and life would be
> miserable. He always say that I do not understand him whenever i told hiim
> that. In Rome u just have to do what Romans do. He thinks too much and
> because of this, he can be undecisive. I really hope that he would be more
> positive. Whenever, he is feeling down, I get worried.>
> I do not mind doing extras if I can have peace of mind. The part bad about
> being parents is our worry about our kids. It is easier to sacrifice than
> having to worry about them. I know Ben is feeling that he has so little
> time. I can't do anything about the army rules. What I can do for him is to
> hep him in such a way he can have more time to do what he wants. For
> example, I try to get what he needs to save him time. Like he needs the
> watch. So I make enquiries and finally, bought for him 3 days ago.
> Actually, to buy that watch for him , I have to walk almost 25 mins from
> where my course was conducted to the shop. Furthermore, I have to convince
> the shop owner to reserve the watch for me. The other week, he needs some
> supplies from the army market. Actually he is luckier that he still has his
> family to count on. Some guys have to get the supplies themselves whether
> they are free or not. That Friday evening after work, I went with Elwyn and
> uncle to get the supplies for him. Elwyn in fact volunteer to get them for
> him. Anyway, this are the little things we can do. I really do not mind
> doing such things. But i hope he can learn to accept things more
> positively and accept that life is not always a bed of roses.>
> I do not mind him going out but it must not be such that he is only taking
> his home as a hotel. And I get worried if he comes back too late. Not being
> able to spend too much time with us is alright esp since he has so
> restricted time. It's quality time that matters not how much he can spend
> with us. I have always encourage him to have better rapport with uncle and
> Elwyn. No point being at home with the family if there is no rapport at
> all. My wish for him is that he would be more flexible and adjust to
> environment.>
> It's good that he is able to confide in you.>
> How is your cough now? If it is still not ok, do go consult a doctor. Cough
> can be very stubborn and if not treated earlier will take a very long time
> to recover.
> This is a pretty long letter. It's not easy to compressed all your
> thoughts.>
> Take care,
> Aunty> > > > > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________________________________________________> > "WARNING : "Privileged/Confidential information may be contained in this> message. If you are not the intended addressee, you must not copy,> distribute or take any action in reliance thereon. Communication of any> information in this email to any unauthorised person in an offence under> the Official Secrets Act (Cap 213). Please notify the sender immediately if> you receive this in error."> > > > joanna leong > fic.net.sg> cc: > Subject: letter > 02/07/2004 00:56 >
>
>
>
>

Dear Aunty,
> heard that sengkang also have black out that day. u also affected right?
> My blk and blks in front of mine also affected but those blks behind
> mine not affected. At first i thought is my house only. Real panic that
> day cos total darkness in the hse and everywhere.
> I'm sick since last week. Actually i had sore throat ,after that got
> fever. I recovered quite fast last week after taking the medicine. but
> dont know y my sore throat came back again with cough. And is worse.
> Since yester i've been taking cooling stuff but my sore throat still
> same. This is the worse throat i ever have. no matter hw much water &
> taking cooling stuff i still cant recover.>
> Benedict said he dreamt of u. He dreamt that u wanted to go out with him
> but he didnt. i think cos he's in gulit this few days and kept thinking
> he neglect u till he had this dream. He said he didnt pay attention to
> u while u are always doing so many things for him. Like that day u made
> 1 tray of chicken wings for him but he didnt eat much. He feel gulity
> for that too cos he wanted to eat more but he's just too full that day.
> He knows u care so much for him. u know that he didnt have gd food in
> the army that's y u specially prepare nice food for him but he didnt
> appreciate by eating more. Also cos he is left with not much time over
> the wkend he didnt get to have a nice talk with u that he always wanted
> to .when he wanted to talk at hm either u're not at hm or he's going
> out. he tried to call u when he's in camp hoping to have a nice talk
> but that day the black out he didnt get a chance to talk . he wants to> care for u more
but he doesn't knows hw to do it, the only way he can
> think of is only talking to u or helping at hm. But he didnt seems to> have the time or smtimes the chance. He feel sad and gulity. he always
> tell me that ppl always regret after losing their loved ones . he doesnt
> want that to happen when the day comes but he dunno hw to cherish well.
> Do u feel that he neglect u or not concern abt u?>

> take care.> > > > > >

my vision blurred

shattered

2007-01-05T04:12:00.000+08:00

I'm still awake... I can't sleep... watched a little of GTO just now.. the live-action series.. I lost count of the times i watched it.... it was one of my all time favourite shows... it portrayed every thing I aspired to be... maybe cos i was not feeling too well, but i just had to watch it...

i feel really low recently... cos of my results and the Sub Reg... and also the loss of faith and direction... actually, the latter attributed to the former... over this past week, in my journey to sort the mess out... i also straightened out my thinking... or so I thought.. I thought I saw what I had wanted.... but this morning, I was once again shattered... all this time... i knew how i feel about home... I want to be home more... i want to do more.. to care for home... i told Ma... i told her... after all those deaths, I want to be home more... But she said, days I'm at home, I also go out..

Yes, I do go out.. but I always want to eat dinner at home when everyone is around.. I go out only after dinner or I come home before dinner.... I want to see them more... I wan to be home... but I dont understand how come Ma misunderstands me... to say things about me like that...

I was very shattered..

for too long... all those that I cared for... they never seemed to know... they never knew that I cared.... never it seems.... how do i sustain myself for so long... it is something I can never understand... why is it, I would always step forward whenever I see them in need... i always thought for them... though I didn't always knew what to do.. i never stop trying...

however... it seems, i was always alone... standing there.. battling what ever may come.... be it triumpt or defeat... i stood alone... no one ever seems to think that i'm hurt...

people misunderstand me all the time as if I'm born to be misunderstood... it's been so long since i was ever told i was doing the right thing... and speaking about GTO... in one of the Episode.. it talked about friends... i wonder if i have more peers than friends... it seemed the case... when i'm down... i don't see anyone... peers do call on me... when there's things to do... but when i talk to them... they disappear... are this true frens? are friends only friends when they are free to do so and not busy with something else?

I know who arent... Alex and JinJin.. we always stood by each other... no matter what fucking thing happens... we dont only appear when theres good things to enjoy and disappear when we can't be bothered... that's how the fuck we are... i'm grateful also to Vincent and Eric of my tut Spec Corps.. they never fail to extend their help to me where studies are concerned... superwoman for listening to my blabber... Samantha too.. PS: although you never do anythg, but u offering to help... it's enough... it shows that you have the heart! have faith in yourself...

thats why i bear some disregard for studies... it dont seem to build character in anyway...

can't believe it's been so long since that Bday party of mine.... i felt that I have done everything for everyone... Elwyn seems less fucked up now... or maybe cos I also never talk to him... I wonder how much he listened... Pa... I have said what I wanted to say for him at the party... I hoped I had sorted out his thoughts as well...he seems ok now.. yesterday, before I left for school in the morning.. he was home, he told me there's prata... but i didn't eat it for breakfast because I was too full. Then when I was in the MRT station, he called me.. he said, "you never eat the prata ah?" I dont know.. but i felt that he had bought it for me.. and was disappointed I didnt eat it... i went back home straight, not because I wanted to take the car, but because I wanted to eat the prata.. i knew I had to eat it.... as for Ma... her Bday is coming soon... that thing I wanted to do... seems childish now... i dunno what I can do for her... i try to be home whenever i can... she always cooks alot of nice things for me to eat during the weekends... she always makes the herbal drinks for me.. even if i'm too full, i will try to drink, cos she made the effort to boil it for me.. everytime i see her after cooking.. i can see how much effort she put it... i always made sure i came home to eat... cos she made an effort to cook, i want to be there to eat what she cooked... yesterday.. i thought of going to fetch her from work, since i can drive now...i thought it's quite nice... but i didnt have the chance to do so... i had wanted to call her again.. tell Ma that I am home from school... like what I always did when I was young, but stop when I had depression back then... but after what she said to me today... I dont know.....

Anyway, it seemed that I had done everything I could have done for everyone I wanted to... it would seem that even if I had died now... i would have no regrets...

some things that happened...

2007-01-05T03:41:00.000+08:00

Went Boat Quay with mei and her 'gf', Bixia that day... very nice of them to jio me out... they said it's to make up for all the times they are not free for supper... anyway, I cant find the bloody pub... cos i'm not a party animal... I was looking for Candy Bar instead of Kandi Bar... It was quite a nice place... crocodile soft toys all over the place.. i saw that pub featured in the papers too.. the one with the Surgical Room theme...

anyway....

i love the floor

aren't we cool?

This picture perfect moment has got to be captured by me of course

spent quite a fortune eating these 2 weeks...

had our teppanyaki party... and also our.. i don't know what to name the 2nd one...party...

teppanyaki party plus Umizaru screening...alex's first session

the 2nd goumet party,

let me start the ball rolling...

the western chef

alex trying to look busy

preparing for the almighty Ramly Burger!!

Haiyo!!

2LT Eric trying to look busy too...

Voila!!

he who doesnt cook, washes...

Alone...

2007-01-04T19:28:00.000+08:00

Here now.. i stand alone again... why is it that the ones i cared most for don't understand me...

Lost Lamb....

Rugby... painful

2007-01-02T03:21:00.000+08:00

had Rugby on Sat.. i played 2 games..

we won the first one.. 7 to 5... initially, I didnt give two hoots about Rugby.. but after 4 tackles in the first game... i fell in love with it....

TACKLING IS DAMN FUCKING SHIOK LA!!!!

my first tackle was the first of my team.. it was a successful one... it got my adrenaline pumping.. since then.. i keep my eyes trained on whomever was carrying the ball.. cos i would be lying in wait behind my teammates.. waiting for the right amount of distraction.. and when he finally makes a mistake.. i will pounce on him!!

the next 2 tackles were unsuccessful though.. in my anxiety, i forgot to grab with both my arms....

thus, i waited patiently for my final kill of the game....

then there came my chance.. right before the final whistle... the enemy broke through all my Forwards... but i was there.... studying him steathily behind my teammates... when he broke through.. i flanked him from his half right... i ended his futile attempt at the my Try Line with a diving tackle at his waist which sent him straight to the ground...

the feeling was damn shiok... the feeling of bringing someone down to the ground with a hard tackle... awesome...

however, we lost the 2nd game.. it wasnt too surprising since the oppenent were the guys whos trained us...

there was a third.. i left before it... one reason was that my knee was whacked during the first game.. due to the injury i hate in the army.. my knees are easily damaged... however the main reason is that i wanted to go home earlier to have dinner with my family... but how was I supposed to tell the team this... most would probably brush it off as bullshit...

after all those deaths i have seen.. i really wan to be home more...

i really want to...

Pasta Mania

2006-12-31T02:22:00.000+08:00

tried making pasta with JinJin that day with the Ikea meatballs...

death... i saw it..

2006-12-30T02:15:00.000+08:00

its the third death i knew of this 2 weeks.. the first is my wai gong, then JJ's ah gong... now my Grandaunt.. i made the right decision to visit her lsat week and last evening...

she passed away in the house.. i'm not close with her... but she willl call me ah boy n stuff when she sees my when the family gets together once in a blue moon.. she knows who i am.. i just felt that it was right to visit her while i still can... i think i made the right choice... the people in the house cried as the doctor annouced her death.. i didn't.. at one point i nearly did... my vision blurrred.. but not because of my grandaunt.. i imagined if it were my Mama... my heart ached... there's still so much i have not done... this night made me want to be home more often... the hols are coming to an end... my four day week is busted because of a UE on fri... i thought i could go home earlier... in any case, i busted last sem.. now i'm in deep shit... how the hell do i locate my mentor?? alot of probs to settle.. my strenght is also my bane...

i stayed in hall again tonite... tmr got rugby... its not that i want my hall to lose.. but i hope we dont win... otherwise it would mean more time away from my family... i was talking to amanda that day... unlike her, i knew very little about my own family.... i'm trying to get close to them.. but i dunno how...

this is one of those times ii feel lost and alone again...

i cant solve my own probs... and i dont know what to do about things i feel about home... some people tell me that i don't seem the sort, but they feel that i'm filial from the things i say and do... my feelings are true.. they are not a show... i hope i am not misunderstood..

Mama's Bday is a month away.. i wonder how long it's been that i last gave her a Bday present.. i just dont know how to... why am i like that.. this time, i have no clue either.. but i feel like giving her the letter that i had intended so long ago... PS: if you know how to help me, help me, pls..

I can feel it man... when Ma says things about me.. she is like so proud of me, although sometimes she gets things wrong.... like when people ask why i am so black... she would always happily say that its because i swim alot when its because of tennis or waterpolo.... but i can feel it.. she feels happy talking about her son...

i still see no point in studying... its going to get me again..

i seriously need help... but in the first place.. i dont know what the fuck is my prob...

initially i had some happier things to blog about... well... i dont know now...

anyway,

the belated xmas gift inside seemed too cheapo so i decided to make my own carrier... I'm glad you liked it... thankfully i chose the right gift!

by the way... i'm this little kid's uncle..

i'm so black la

PS: you seemed troubled.. what happened? can i help you??

Sgt of Tennis

2006-12-26T22:36:00.000+08:00

hmmm... elbow hurts.... i cant strain it too much.. think i got tennis elbow... its really soon ah.. its only been 5 mths since i started playing tennis... guessed i tried too many stunts i saw from Prince of Tennis... i have my Tarik Ball, and my version of the hardoukuu and rising shot haha...

like what sia.... as in the show... the hardoukuu can't be used in succession or the arm will break.... been trying to play normally these days...

the game today is postponed to tmr because of the bloody rain.. fuck leh... haizz.. go all the way down for fuck....

its another day tmr....holidays coming to an end....

i'm going to stay home this week...

i have been away for too long..

faith...faithless

2006-12-26T01:25:00.000+08:00

just finished watching Umizaru 2... watched part 1 yesterday

its a Jap movie about Search n Rescue divers... i think it's the inspiration behind the Hollywood version of The Guardian...

i really like both the prequel and the Sequel of Umizaru... it's really inspiring... seeing the men going against orders to save their friends.. sticking together through the shit.. the pride.. never hesitating to risk themselves for their friends...

people think i'm foolish... they say it's just a show.. yes, it's just a show... but why does the human spirit only exist in movies... i fail to see it in real life... of course there are times when i have my apprehensions... but i always to be the best i can be...

in Umizaru 2, another aspect of the human spirit was displayed... Love..

the diver never gave up... because he knew, no matter how tough his journey was... his loved one is standing there at the finishing line, waiting for him... this is what keeps him going... he knew no fear oweing to his faith in her...

it's a very magnificant thing.. i have myself experienced this twice... i felt like i was king... there was no stopping me... no matter what was thrown at me.. i could take it.. but unlike the movie, i reached the finishing line alone... there wasnt anyone waiting for me there... there wasnt anyone there as promised...for the 2nd time, i never expected anything in return... i never sought any gains... however the first, it's been 2 over years.. i still dont understand what happened... i look back on the things... the msgs written, the promises.. i dont know how it changed over night... till this day, i still feel the pain...

i can never explain this... how is it i feel this way... ppl say i cant let it go... how do i? this hurt is too much... fortunately, like i always say... i cant change the way i feel, but i can at least control my actions... i'm not acting crazy...

ahh.. fuck.... why am i saying all these...

anyway.. one gd example of a guy who can control his actions despite his emotions is this YunZhi
guy in the Channel U airplane show... poeple who watch the show should understand what im saying..

rotten luck

2006-12-25T16:12:00.000+08:00

this has got to be the most unlucky xmas in my life...

had a teppanyaki supper with jinjin, alex, to celebrate Godwin's Bday... when i was parking... this giant cockroach just appeared on my windscreen and distracted me the whole time... to make matters worse, the side mirror is out of position, which i'm unaware of.. as i result, i scratched the left back of the car... i only saw the scratch when i came home, it cant be cleaned off... wat the fuck....

earlier, i forgot to warn Godwin to scrub the hot plate gently. as a result, it got scratched too!
and when i finally got home, i realised i forgot to bring my key, which has never happened before... luckily elwyn picked up his phone at 6am to open the door for me...

its damn fucking suay la.... wah kao eh....

i got a little gift already.. it seems to little... hmmm

i didnt get anything for my parents.. i dunno what to... hmm.. hopeless...

haiya.. fuck.. so many random thoughts

chimmney ranger

2006-12-24T11:10:00.000+08:00

boring hols... so sian.... and a lonely xmas, sitting by the chimmney.... haizzz

i still got no idea wat to get for amanda... that day she called... asked if i got those little gundams.. i thk its those in a capsule... says she's getting one for me for xmas... got me by surprise haha.. anyway... i got to get her smthg too... hmm.. but nt too sure wat... i thk i make things easy for people... anyone who knows me, knows what i like...

bloody hell sia... yday stayed back in school for nothing.. my tennis game walkover another hall.. waste my time... i think i'm getting back my feel of tennis soon.... but playing a proper match is still very different from rallying the ball.... see how la...

courtesy

2006-12-20T18:49:00.000+08:00

its understandable if one is unable to reply to a sms or msn msg... but i see no reason why he cant reply it later when he sees it.. better late than never applys to this... i believe its only a form of courtesy....

what are frens for?

2006-12-20T17:21:00.000+08:00

so, what are friends for?

i have no answer for that...

they dont have to be there all the time.... but they are no where to be see when they are needed... i read somewhere once.... frens are not frens when they dont call you along when they go out, nor do they show up when you call them... it may seems strange but i never seem to be able to find any company to do things... i'm always this lone ranger... but i'm grateful to Miss Candy and Samatha... even though i never really did anything for them, they offered me company... yet, people whom i thought would, did otherwise....

i wonder if it's the rain that makes the days so cold these days...

but that doesnt stop me from doing what i always do... whenever i see smthg wrong, i'll still attend to it... JJ told me last night... alot of thgs are beyond your control... i noe..

i may not be able to solve the problem entirely but at least i'm doing smthg about it... i cant bring myself to ignore anything i see.. perhaps its bcos i was left for the dead alone too many times... i can never stand by and do nothing... probs i see at home... i still cant solve them.. but i'm doing my best to prevent them from getting out of hand... it's better than not doing anything....

i'm listening to the windstruck song 'Parangeerato Chopta'... i did not want to hear that song... bcos it will rake up sad memories... but since i'm already feeling so low.. i dont thk it makes any difference... but i still forbid myself from watching Windstruck...

mixed feelings...

2006-12-16T11:28:00.000+08:00

my feelings now... indescribable.... i'm quite sad that i was never realli did anything for ah gong...

he's alert but at the same time blur... he asks intelligent Qns like have we eaten.. but he will ask more than once.. i dunno i can do for him... he cant realli hear very well too... i dunno how much did he hear of what i said..

on the hand..... i'm just fucking irritated.... everytime im driving with my fahter on my right... he's fucking irritating... keep saying my driving wrong... how the bloody fuck am i supposed to concentrate n drive properly when he's fucking yawking away... always comment on somethign and after i try to do that way, there's yet another thing....

i dont have any problems when i drive alone... but with him by my side... i get horned, tailgated, ovvertaken... every fuck shit.... for fuck he tell me he has 20 yrs driving experience... safe driving is a thing of the past...

last time ppl still abided by the rules.... nowadays.. the bloody youngsters drive like itsuki... once he scolded me for swerving the car away from another in front which suddenly braked... he said should have horned... cos the car on the outer lane would not have expected me to swerve out... ya, but before swerving out.. i had already fucking checked clear my blind spot... sounding off the horn doesnt work on a car who jam brakes... honking at him wont make him accelerate again... on top of that, i doubt the brakes on the bloody Matrix are that responsive... steering clear is the best option... dumbass...

ah gong fell down again..

2006-12-16T03:54:00.000+08:00

i was about to return to sch for polo match... then ma said hospital called... ah gong fell down again...

twice he fell, and i wasnt there.... how the fuck it happened man....

its barely hours after the post on Wai Gong...

often, poeple who need me more, i'm unable to proteect them....

i wished i had someone to turn to whenever shit like this happens...

Wai Gong passed away...

2006-12-16T00:07:00.000+08:00

just days after the previous post on my ah gong, my wai gong, my maternal Gfather passed away...

in a way, i'm thankful that it's not my ah gong who's the one... i'm not close with wai gong... seeing him only during CNY i think..

Ma say this wkend no time to visit ah gong, have to be at the wake... got such thg one meh...
i dont wan to stop visiting ah gong for too long... once a week is already short enough... i dont want him to forget who am i again...

tmr have to go back school again for water polo... si bei sian leh.... like desiree mentioned... we have more time when it's not the hols...

its getting a bore...

very sian also... cant find anyone for company to do things together, go gaigai or wat... my friends who would normally dosome things together, are quite a cold blanket most of the times as well...

it's just so quiet...

my Pa.. ah gong..

2006-12-14T11:38:00.000+08:00

just watched World Trade Centre... the movie with Nicholas Cage in it... cant remember which part was it... perhaps, the part that Nicholas Cage teaching his son to saw that made me teared...

maybe it made me think of my own father... as in the show... fathers would always want their sons to grow up to be like them... of course i'm not talking about fathers who are robbers or wat... the former who always have something to teach their kids... there's a way they want them to grow up to be...

i never really knew what my father wanted out of me... i managed to understand a little when i was in the Army... i realised that his strict upbringing and attention to details are due to his time in the Airforce and his character... i understood what he wanted to teach me after 18 yrs.. still, till this day, there are things i never fully understood about him...

I never really talked to him, and vice versa... many a times, the most effective conversations i had with him were rather unconventional situations... i dont know what i am trying to put across here...

yesterday... Ma callled.... she asked if i told Pa that i needed some sports equipment... i said i mentioned needing a pair of stud shoes, which i changed my mind about, and trunks... she said Pa told her that he was going to look for them later... I dont know why.. somehow it sounded unfamiliar to me... its as though i never thought of Pa to do this kind of things... yet deep down inside, i knew he would..... he knew what i wanted... perhaps more times then i thought he knew... but also at times, he may not have known...

i tried to understand what he wanted... but many a times, it seemed i got it wrong... many people got him wrong too... that's why i spoke up during my last Bday party... i could call it my first Bday party.. never really celebrated since it always clashes with exams... i dont know if he or anyone would ever know what i wanted for him...

remember last Wed when i went with ah gong and Gugu to Changi hospital? ...i thought that he never recognised me... a few days after that, Gu gu called to tell me that he's very happy.. he said i was very guai to go visit him, even though it's only once a week... i guess he still recognised me... but i have to visit him often, otherwise he would forget, as he did before... when ever i go to see him... i never really say anything to him... i dont know what to say also.. i just stand there... but i still want o go visit him... i dont want him to die, forgetting that i'm his grandson..
PS: hey man JJ, i never implied that you are nt as filial last night, it's just me to want to do more for my family. dont get me wrong..

i was quite surprised to hear that he is happy with what little i did... perhaps he was the only other person to be easily contented with what i did for him... the other 2, are probably Elicia and Audris.. my 2 little cousins.. they are always elated when they see me... running and jumping towards me whenever they see my coming... always wanting me to carry them.. end up, i carry both of them in both my arms... when i went to their house to help their father set up the wireless modem.. they would whine and plead just to come into the room with me... when they were refused, they would promise that they will just sit quietly there and read their books, which they did...

here's my little gfs,

maybe thats why i like little children and babies.. they are always so happy to see you... so happy to get things from you... and somehow or rather, despite my bulk, kids always seem to like me after getting warmed up to me.. always wanting to play with me and disturb me... sometimes they are just so naive and cute... like Audris.. she would always take me by the hand and ask me why i am so tall, so big size.. sometimes she would try to lift me up which she fails... they are just so cute... unlike more grown-ups i see... who are just not grown-up...

well ok.. take for example one... no need to name him.. it's not as though he dont know who he is... he likes to fuck, scold in this context, his fren's gfs in their faces... and bear a grudge with his fren's who scold fuck him back... when in the first place... he got angry with the gfs for no dumb fuck reason and the fault of it is probably his own warped conception... and he would go aound telling people that he hateed someone when that someone still treated him like a fren... and guess what... he said he hated A because A was B's roommate whom he hated!... amazing what 21 yrs of age he grew up to be...

you can have everything... but with EQ like this... one can only die in the workforce in future.. people out there may not be as patient, and forgiving to your nonsense and worst still, you wont have many frens there for you...

Team PSP.. update

2006-12-11T22:45:00.000+08:00

RO for the date...

Gentlemen.... we now have NFS Carbon in our inventry too...

Team PSP TURN OUT!!!

2006-12-11T19:43:00.000+08:00

after a lull period of donkey months... Sgt PSP has once again mobilised Team PSP after he has repaired his PSP.... games are coming in by the butt load again.... refer to my PSP section ah... haha... all are welcomed to enlist in Team PSP ah....

just to name a few of our new entries....

Initial D Street Stage... Ape Escape... Crash Team Racing... Dragonball Z Shin Budokai ... Gradius Collection... King Kong... Ace Combat... Medal of Honour... Star Wars Lethal Alliance... Work Time Fun... Killzone Liberation

Sgt's PSP taking centre-stage...

Wireless Virtual Tennis...

backkkk

2006-12-08T13:18:00.000+08:00

so long nv blog already huh... so many things happened... so many random thoughts.... have been coming back almost everyday for sports... had some movie/supper last night with some of the Mambo people... that yulin super enthusiastic about it sia.... at first i thought a few people only, in the end, i think she emailed all of NTU minus the Profs and the canteen aunties.. she even sms everyone the night before... RESPECT.. cooked ramly burger, prata etc... earlier in the evening, Amanda came my room to use the internet.. always forget things one... forgot to bring keys, then kena stuck in canteen to do work.. so i just tot ask her come up since we are meeting the guys later for dinner then grocery shopping.. wow.. she koped alot of movies from my HDD man... all accumilated thankx to NetScan.. wonderful program... but to be use with extreme caution.... PS: where ur post went to? i hven commented and it disappeared! haha

http://mambo06.multiply.com/photos/album/14

supposed to be the swim manager, but the polo manager went back to Indonesia... so become lim pei do.... and i ended up playing aso.... playing is fun.. but haiyo... not enough people in the team... jialat man... then the match dates and times were not given to me aso.. when asked for it.. i was greeted with silence as well... yeah so cool...

playing rugby too.. crazy man.. playing all the sports i nv played before... need a pair of cheap stud shoes.. otherwise i will slidiing all over the field....

si bei sian... these days, have been seeing fuckers... dunno why.. just too arrogent.. hmm.. never not like them can already....

brought ah gong to hospital on Wed.. actually i was there with gu gu... although he smiles at me and stuff... i wonder does he really recognise me.... back then he forgotten who i was... even though i was the one most polite to him... now it's the hol.. yet he is in hospital, so he cant see me that often also.... maybe i'm a coward also... i didnt really go see him much... i want to go visit him, because i dont want him to forget that i am his grandson... but i dont know what i can do to stop his memory loss.. whenever i encounter things that i have no solutions for, i would just stop in my tracks.... i'm not running away from these problems, but neither am i tackling them... is this cowardice? I dont know...

similarly... i know that she's seems to be very hurt.. her blog is closed.... i wont know anything now.... till today, i have yet to call to ask how is she... i want very much to... but i dare not.. this is the first time i am like this... because i'm afraid that i have no solutions to her problems... in the past, i could do anything for her... not anymore.. i fear failure... she was the only one that i did everything right...

tsk... haizz... dunno la.. guess these 2 instances are proof enough that i am not as brave as i though i am...

there's this airplane show on Ch U at 10pm.... there's this high-flyer pilot who liked a stewdess.. i dont reali know the story.. they loved each other... but the girl married another pilot due to some misunderstanding... the former still liked her but he didn't bastard the other pilot who was also his gd friend... but there was one incident when the stewardess apparantly lost some story book she liked.. the pilot bought another one for her.. he very much wanted to give it to her...until he realised that her husband made a bed like the one in the story book for her.. he said, instead of reading it in a book, might as well let her be like the princess in the story... in the end, the pilot, did not give her the book.. i guess he knew his book was nothing compared to what her husband did.. but he has the heart to want to do things that he knows the girl wants.. he did it without any ill intentions, he just did things that he felt that will make the ger happy...

the things he did.... i saw someone in him.... it's just all too familiar... sometime back... Samatha asked me... is it worth it to hold on.. like keep liking or do things for a person special to you, when it seems futile in all aspects.. i asked her, then do you only do things that are worth your while.... esepcially when you are talking about a special someone... you do things out of your heart... you want to do things for him/her... to make him/her happy.. if you start questioning your purpose... i'm afraid that ur heart is weakened...

thats the case with alot of girls i see these days... especially those attached... as long as someone gives her more attention, she will be inclined to him.. fuck the boyfriend... then i think they shouldnt be too unforgiving when her husband gets appreciation from another woman after they are married...

si bei bo liao

2006-11-28T12:28:00.000+08:00

http://www.sgtbenedict.youaremighty.com/

haha... Superwoman made this for me.... morale booster she says....

made ramly burger again last night... finally learnt how to use the induction stove to spread the egg.. haha... in any case, a very thinly spread egg is needed bcos my overkilled ramly houses a beef pattie, cheese and ham inside.. Hohoho

last night, relac jack from after Phy paper till 530am.. how the hell time passes so quickly... chem's coming up next... but i dunno how to prep for it... no Qns to do.... never taken it in JC... die sia.... Phy was a blummer... but i did prepare for it.. sure there was room for more.. but i did try.... timese like these, i have no qualms about it... things that i know i can answer to myself... it would suffice...

but the past few days when i was practising Physics... it was high man... blasting away Eurobeat... reali steam.... dont know why... it just boosts me... but only when i do subjects i like....

Yeah!! finally going Vivocity next week.. then shopping? too many things never see le... i need to bring a map when i go out....

I'm on STOMP. haha

2006-11-27T13:02:00.000+08:00

submitted my pics for the fun of it... Sporting Moments.... haha....

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/viewPost704.aspx

For who?:	If you just want to have no frills fun!
Fee:	$10 (Discount for selected memberships)

[ Tots of the Gundam Prince ]

Loss

do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth!?

so why do we even bother?

Jetquay BBQ Menu

Grilled Brown Sugar Pork Chops here

Never Let Go - Bryan Adams (The Guardian)

...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Ito Yuna - I trust you

looking for the Muji 2009 Olefin Diary White B5

bring in Airsoft!

Airsoft

Muji Xmas

Bird's Eye - Bodies Of Lies soundtrack

Initial Manga

thank you for your words :)

Lomography

A guide to Lomography

character profiling..

...

new psp gundam game...

the new Tiger Airways

nice TV dramas watched and to be watched...

anyone for tennis?

TP thumbdrive virus galore

the dark knight

who wanna go K1 Grand Final?

No control

some even cuter ChoroQs.... and my KeroQ ;P

TakaraTomy - Drift Package Light r/c cars

my first Q-steer..

Choro Q!

daa

rojak of feelings..

flash mob

that Forty-Ninth Day

8*0*1* bbq...

IRONMAN trailer song here

seen this loafers?

and so she said i'm inspirational

Puma French'77 Racket Grip Bag...i want :(

Belated thanx for coming..

ah gong zou le...

this thing, i do not wish to prepare for...

ah gong... so is this it?

OMG!.. a zaku phone with a Zaku head charger

OMG!.. a zaku phone with a Zaku head charger

Repost: I wanna be a vintage tennis player

i am patient towards old folks

i want this Sportif tennis bag!!

fanned,,,

Jackass the Movie... definitely not for the weak

am I a Facebook fan?

so now i'm a counsellor

not-good friday

not-good friday

day 2 in thailand

hello from Thailand...

going thailand sat to sat..

testing

anyone wants to buy a Nalgene?

revival

temporary switch of address

My Heritage

Midnight Fest

testing testin

shit...

this week..

Cannot, cannot...

saturday...

worried

polo.... scofield...

Tonight...

die la.. why no boost???

Polo Bo Bo

ARGH!!!! boost me on!!!

Sleeping beast..

My bad..

801* bbq...